Saturday, March 23, 2013

I Still Have Some Crying to Do, But...

I don't really want to say a lot about this one right now. The person knows who he is. Me being 100% honest. Something the subject has asked me to be many times.

I Still Have Some Crying to Do, But...

You broke me
when I thought I couldn't fall any further,
you kicked me down even more.

You said you wouldn’t abandon me,
that you could handle me.
I guess my craziness
was too much for you.

We talked about getting out,
driving away from the city,
to the mountains, to Montana.
I told you about my dead dog,
named after Montana.

We connected over baseball,
then we shared our love for hockey.
You listened to all of my crazy punk music
even though I knew
you marched to slower drummers.

You called me pretty,
indulged my crazy plans
to steal guitars from my favorite musicians.
You gave me a virtual kiss goodnight.

But my emotions, my insecurities,
got in the way.
(And right now I can barely see what I’m writing,
blurred by my tears.)

I can’t blame you.
I don’t blame you.
I know I got in the way.

I don’t know how you felt,
if you cared for me deeper
than just a random acquaintance.
But I can admit now
that I fell in love
with your spirit, your character, your outlook on life,
your confidence in me.

I was too much to handle.
I don’t blame you, I can’t blame you.