Thursday, April 20, 2023

Us Against the World

Us Against the World

Those were the days

of us against the world!

Fighting for living wages, healthcare,

inclusion, dignity.

With the stakes higher,

the implications of our failure

reverberated wider than others’,

we Thrived!

 

Exhausted at the end

of our day,

but we stayed up late,

partied, discussed things

the truly mattered.

 

We were on top

of the World!

We started young,

fresh faced, full of hope

and the ‘knowledge’ that

if we just spread our message

and got others to follow

in our footsteps

we would absolutely

change our world!

 

We grew up on this road,

on the road. Older then,

our resolve steadfast,

a calm resolve,

that we did

Still Mattered.

 

And lights faded

on our time at the helm,

we welcomed a new generation

of activists.

We passed the torch

and grieved for what

we were not able to

accomplish, to change.

 

Some days

it still weighs on me.

Wednesday, April 19, 2023

The Cause

The Cause

 

Twelve-plus hours a day

seven days a week

of organizing, pushing, leading.

No rest for us,

but we didn’t care.

The cause was greater.

 

Alienation from friends, families.

Missing birthdays, baby and wedding showers,

times just making memories

because our calling was more

than to just be passive activists.

  

“Why aren’t you doing more?

You can knock doors,

make phone calls,

attend rallies!

Why aren’t you doing enough?”

These thoughts streamed through our brains

when someone wished up luck,

said we have their support,

said they had our backs.

 

Feelings of failure.

“If I had only done this…

then we would have won,

we most surely would have

saved lives.”

The implications of our failures

were greater than others’

as we saved strangers’

livelihoods, health, access to compassionate care.


No time to

be human.

We went ‘home’

(even though where we laid our heads

was never actually home),

ingested drugs,

fell into chaotic sleeps.

 

We couldn’t be our true selves,

as our lives belonged to

the cause.

 

We faltered

landed harshly.

We wanted to scream,

“I am only just

a human!”

But to what? The cause?

 

We deserved rest,

but we didn’t realize it

until after

the burnout.


***


Tuesday, April 11, 2023

Katie/Kate

 

Katie/Kate

 

I value realness, rawness, truthfulness

and tend not to trust

those who I feel are inauthentic.

 

Recently, I started tagging my art,

poetry, photography, and writing

under a moniker/penname/pseudo-name.

 

(In 2008 I looked up

“Katie Dixon” on Facebook,

 and found nearly 600 more mes.)

 

Veiling myself under a new name

has given me strength in the past,

almost like a superhero’s cloak.

But putting everything under

this other name

has almost made me feel like I’m

hiding

under

it.

 

Can I authentic,

can I be real,

if I’m not Katie Dixon?

Or will Kate Solo bring

out the artist

that I desperately hope to be?